THE TABERNASH BUGLE E-6

THE TABERNASH BUGLE

John D. Feltes

EDITOR

====================================================================================================PUBLISHER

A Blow For Man?

This new drug, termed ZMapp, was developed by a biotech firm (Mapp Biopharmaceutical, Inc.). Several years ago, this company and the National Institutes of Health and the Defense Threat Reduction Agency were tasked to develop a treatment for Ebola virus infection. The drug consists of an anti-Ebola antibody that is made up of part mouse and part human antibody. The mouse part of the antibody is produced in mice immunized against Ebola virus. The active section of the mouse antibody against Ebola was then placed on the human antibody that was modified to carry the part of the mouse antibody that is effective in limiting or stopping Ebola replication. These chimeric antibodies (one antibody type produced from two different antibodies) were reproduced in Chinese hamster ovary cells and in plant cells that were genetically modified to produce large amounts of chimeric antibodies. These antibodies were then purified and concentrated. In a small study with rhesus macaque monkeys, these antibodies were shown to protect the monkeys from early Ebola virus exposure. They were also successful in reducing or eliminating Ebola viral symptoms in monkeys with ongoing Ebola infection. Because the infected missionary workers (Dr. Kent Brantly and also his infected associate, Nancy Writebol) were apparently losing the battle against Ebola, permission was given to try to save these two with the experimental drug. The drug was effective in slowing or stopping severe symptoms of Ebola within a few hours after administration. To date, it is unknown if all the Ebola virus population in the patients will be eliminated; the two patients will be intensively studied for some time. Unfortunately, this drug is not been produced yet in large quantities; the company reports only a very few doses that could be used in patients. However, the company is trying to increase production.

All above information drawn from http://www.medicinenet.com/

The Reason For Government

The real reason for government, is not for one man to rule, no, not for a group of people to rule, but for the country to rule itself in the ways of God. Our great country is an exceptional place, it is exceptional because it was found on God's laws. Any place founded on the laws of man is destine to defeat, but any country founded on the laws of God is destine to succeed. This is because the law of man has been many times warped and twisted, while the law of the creator remains whole.

The Car Accident

Last Friday, a truly remarkable event took place - an event that will go down in Tabernash history. It was a car accident, the likes of which has never been seen before. The accident had five casualties and seven cars were involved. Criminal Investigators of Tabernash, CIT, are trying to find the cause of the accident, though, it is suspected that it was caused primarily by ice and bad driving. The conclusion will be in next week's issue.

THE TABERNASH BUGLE E-5

THE TABERNASH BUGLE

John D. Feltes

EDITOR

======================================================================================PUBLISHER

Blasting for road.

Blasting for the new Long Gorge Road will be completed next Friday at 1:28 PM. The new road is expected to be open to public travel by March 26, 2015. If you live in the Arch-Caliphate area you will soon be able to travel through the Long Gorge rather than drive to Winstead and back to Hubbleton. Now the road will be a dirt one, at least at birth.

Tall Gun Slinger Kills 3 Men But Is Shot P-2.

CIT, Criminal Investigators of Tabernash, have determined the cause and effect of last week's murder. “We will try a new angle on this murder,” said Sergeant Brown, in his interview last Monday, “instead of trying to blame the wrong person for this, we are trying to find he who is himself guilty.”

Now yesterday this newspaper revived news that the aforesaid statement had succeeded and Jacob Smant will be charged with murder and armed robbery.

Funny

William & George

W: What did we do this for again?

G: Fun, dummy.

W: What?

EXTRA <> THIS NEWSPAPER IS EXPANDING! NEXT WEEK WILL BE THE FIRST 2 PAGE EDITION. <>

THE BRIEF THOUGHTS OF DRUNKEN ANIMALS

THE THOUGHTS OF DRUNKEN ANIMALS

"Life is best when there is sun and snow," Dinkey the third.
"Hot sun and cold snow, are the essence of beauty," Paddington W. Bear
"You only break one leg when you fall off a ladder, you break the other three when you land," Froggy J. Flieflash.
"Steak and apple juice makes every bear happy," Br. J. Francis Dwinggle.
"Lobsters only pinch before they're dead," Jumping Jackrabbit L. Q.
"All teeth are made for chewing," Winters W. Duck.

•  Never give stuffed animals a bottle of RUM.

The Tabernash Bugle E-4

THE TABERNASH BUGLE

John D. Feltes

EDITOR

============================================================PUBLISHER

A New Movie Is Coming.

A new movie is in the process. Starring Alia F. Feltes-Deyapp, John D. P. Feltes, It will be a World War II action comedy, named Hey Sarge. Also acting will be Lilly N. Rust, Jack D. Feltes and Elizabeth C. Feltes and With Christine L. E. Feltes, Erik C. P. Feltes, Kate E. B. Feltes and Arlo T. Rust. It will concern a group of young Pacific Islanders who were orphaned by the Japs. Then were rescued by an America squad of radio Marines, consisting of a sergeant that saw a lot of action and a recruited nurse, Private First Class, and a Corporal whom had also seen a lot of action. It is slightly funny in spots and hilarious in others. John is a small-time star and will be juggling roles early on, as he is also to appear in The Canterbury Tales on the 30th of April. Our other star also has seen action in various plays and movies, one of which was a Peter Pan type production.

Tall Gun Slinger Kills 3 Men But Is Shot.

At 5:25 Tuesday morning, Jighorn Munfluny was walking down the road in front of Dwinggle's Bakery when he heard someone behind him. A man's voice said to put his hands in his pockets. As he did so the man fired two rounds of a 45 automatic into his back and he died instantly, George Higgle and Bowen Browner tried to get the gun away and were killed also. The proprietor of Dwinggle's Bakery snatched his 30-30 and fired, directly through the glass, killing the man with three rounds. The dead man was searched, and on him was a driver's license, which stated that he was 32 year old, named Jacob Smant. Criminal Investigators of Tabernash, or CIT, are at this point trying to determine the reason for the murders. The outcome of it will be in the next issue of this newspaper.

The Lawyer

A Satire

He was a lean man with a gaunt face and a loose green suit. Harold McGreedy was strolling down a long street in London, England. He had a happy look on his face, for he was on his way to see one of his clients, a man named Edward Humblton. As he swung along with his long-stepped gait, he saw many people look his way. They had sad looks on their faces. They were his former clients. Harold was one of those men who use the law to swindle poor hapless people out of their money by the guise of good.

There are many like him, all with the same conniving smile, always so cheerful and happy, yea, but only on the exterior; in the interior is the deep sadness of one who tries to fill his heart with money instead of God.

He, Harold, swung in a gate in the middle of New-shire street and walked up a set of stone steps, paused and knocked at the door; then hearing a muffled shout telling him to enter, he entered into a kind of parlour. In a chair sat the man Edward. He was a stocky man with a turnip nose and black beady eyes. These had a worried look, as indeed they should have.

“Hello, Mr. Humblton,” said Harold, in an air of total indifference, “how are things today?”

“No, better than last week, in fact by many means things are worse,” said Edward.

“But how do you mean worse?”

“It is Collins, he is after me again. If I don't win this suite I will not have the money to pay him back, that, my friend, will be the everliving end!” he yelled. “Sorry, I didn't mean to shout.”

“Well, I will see what I can do, for a certain small fund of course.”

“A SMALL FUND, DO YOU NOT THINK 2,500 POUNDS IS ENOUGH, EH?” shouted he.

“Now just calm down Mr. Humblton, sir, it will all turn out in the end.”

“FOR YOU MAYBE,  I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT, YOU WILL GET YOUR 2,500 POUNDS, NOT A SHILLING MORE, PERIOD!”

“Oh.”

“OH?”

“YES, oh,” Harold took a deep breath “Mr. Humblton, you need my services, right?!”

“Well y...”

“Of course you do."

“BUT...”

“So you see, you must pay me the extra 250 pounds.”

The stocky man walked behind his desk and opened a drawer. He reached inside, quick as a flash he produced a pistol.

“YOU BETTER GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE BEFORE I COUNT TO TEN, YOU OVER-STEPPED LAWYER, OR I'LL BLOW THAT GAUNT HEAD OFF OF YOUR LEAN BODY. YOU DON'T FOOL ME YOU'RE JUST A LAW LEGALIZED ROBBER.”

“Now see here, Mr. Humblton...”

“ONE, TWO, THREE...”

“BUT MR. HUMBLTON!!!” shouted Harold, his voice high and shaky.

“FIVE, SIX...”

There was a sudden thud as the door slammed shut, then silence. Harold ran quickly out of the house to the nearest police station. He popped in the door panting.

“Mr. Policeman, Mr. Policeman, help me! There is a man who just about murdered me, come along quickly!”

“Wot's this my good man? You just about murdered a someone, eh, wot?” inquired the policeman, who had apparently just awoken, when the lawyer flew through the door.

“No, no, not I murdered him, he murdered me, I mean, almost murdered me,” exclaimed Harold.

“How is that again?”

“Oh, never mind, just come on,” said Harold.

They walked back to Mr. Humblton's house in New-shire street, walked through the gate and up the steps, back inside the green parlour they found Mr. Humblton seated in his chair, head in hands crying.

“What is the matter good sir?” asked the policeman.

“Nobody will help me! They are all interested in what they will get out of it, not in actually helping,” cried Mr. Humblton, then seeing Harold in the background he yelled “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, BRINGING THAT FILTHY, CHEATING LAWYER INTO MY HOUSE.”

“Sir, please tell me what it is about Mr. McGreedy that you don't like?” said the policeman.

“HE'S A LYING, CHEATING, STEALING  LAWYER, HE TRIED TO SWINDLE ME OUT OF 2,750 POUNDS, THE LIKES OF HIM SHOULD ALL BE SHOT!!!” shouted Mr. Humblton.

“SHUT UP, YOU GREAT BIG MOUTHED BOY,” yelled Harold.

“CALM DOWN, calm down,” said the policeman, then turning to Harold he said, “It sounds like you tried to swindle this old man, what do you say, is this true?”

“Well, I guess it is,” said the now subdued Harold.

“Then, I'm afraid I have no choice except to arrest you, Harold McGreedy,” said he, “the charges will be, swindling under guise, attempted murder.”

With that he snapped on the handcuffs and marched Harold McGreedy off to jail.

J.D.P.G.F.F.

The Wander's song

Wandering through the gentle

forest, happy on my way,

joy fills the woods around

me, happiness I see.

The chorus, with great vigor.

So march, march, march,

see those trees form that great

Arch, oh march, march

Wheel and wander,

look over yonder,

see the sad rook rise,

the sad joy in his eyes.

So march, march, march,

though the hill rise,

they are not too harsh.

Up and over the hill,

they pass behind me,

I hear the bird trill.

I see all God's love,

love for all, and for me,

and the deer, and the dove.

So march, march, march,

set along, the pace is gentle,

see the lovely lark on wing

A Mansion in the South.

The building was large and gray.

It was tall and gay.

Adorned with carved lion's heads,

And within soft warm beds,

Inside are tall lady hosts.

Now the windows are sharply broken.

It has been long, for wartime has spoken.

Now the tall lady hosts,

Are not but tall gray ghosts.